Rejection equals redirection.
Topic/issue: What is rejection and what is it not. Don’t overanalyze. Fix it and move on. In the book Maybe You Should Talk To Someone, Lori Gottlieb explained that humans lived in cooperative societies, and for most of history, we depended on those groups for survival. She stated that “when somebody rejects us, there’s a very primal piece to it, which is that it goes against everything we feel like we need for survival.” This is our tribe and we are cast out.
I know from my own studies that in pre agrarian times such as nomadic foragers, we still depended on each other despite us not being in a fixed community. To be cast out of the tribe is a death sentence.
From the blog article athttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/being-your-best-self/202401/8-ways-to-manage-rejection
“ Practice Acceptance. Instead of ruminating over why it happened, how it happened or how it shouldn’t have happened, which helps your mind avoid the pain, sit with that it did happen. Be willing to sit with the discomfort and get in touch with the emotions it’s bringing up, what it’s triggering for you, and how you want to show up in your life and be.”
Tara Brach has many books out and one is called Radical Acceptance. She teaches RAIN. Recognize it happened, Accept it happend (doesn’t mean you like what happened or agree.) Investigate why it happened but don’t get caught up in it. Nurture yourself. Take a time out, journal, nap, swim, garden.
Meditation : Get comfortable and breathe in and out. Roll your shoulders and tell any tension to go away. This is your time for self love. Place one hand on your heart and breathe deeply in and out. Say out loud “I am worthy”. “I am enough”. Imagine placing some time and space between you and what rejected you. See the rejector in your mind going away from you and getting blurry and smaller. Say “I am peace, peace is here for me always.” “I love me”
Discussion: childhood trauma, what next mindset. Childhood trauma plays a lot in how we deal with rejection and criticism. Our parents who are supposed to love us unconditionally yet were all too human and had human needs to be met. Sometimes they rejected us or at least that was how it felt. Perhaps the parent had addictions or mental health issues. Perhaps the parent was too immature, too much of a zealot or ignorant to care for us how we wanted them too. This is where reparenting comes in. You can literally reparent yourself , as a teen or an adult. You can give yourself soothing words when you make a mistake or feel rejected. “Ok, this didn’t work out, that’s ok. I am safe and sound. Since this door is closed, then a new door will open. I wonder what my surprise will be?”
Closing. Psalm 118:22 The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone.
